INTEGRATIVE PSYCHOTHERAPIST IN NOTTINGHAM

Being in a relationship with a person who has narcissistic traits can be deeply unhealthy and damaging to your emotional wellbeing.

You may be just beginning to wonder whether your relationship is right for you, or whether there are unhealthy dynamics taking place that you find confusing.

Or perhaps you are further down that road and are thinking about leaving the relationship, are in the process of leaving, or have already left.

Cheating and infidelity can also be part of this relationship dynamic. Perhaps your partner was unfaithful and left, or perhaps you were the one who eventually ended the relationship.

When love becomes confusing

Relationships with someone who displays strong narcissistic or emotionally unhealthy patterns can be incredibly confusing.

There may be times when your partner is loving, attentive and affectionate, followed by criticism, withdrawal, anger, blame or emotionalmanipulation.

You may find yourself constantly trying to work out which version of them you are going to get.

Over time, this can leave you feeling as though you are walking on eggshells.

And perhaps the most confusing part is that you may still love them.

You can love someone and still recognise that the relationship is hurting you.

When the relationship first began

First, there may have been the love bombing.

You may have been led to believe that you had so much in common, that you had so much fun together, could talk for hours and were doing exciting things together.

You may have felt that you had finally found your soulmate.

And you believed it.

With more covert narcissistic traits, the beginning of the relationship may look very different. There may be less obvious love bombing and more of a gradual sense of being drawn into the relationship, often because they present themselves as a victim and someone who has been hurt, misunderstood or badly treated by others. You may find yourself wanting to help, support or rescue them.

Then the dynamic begins to change.

The trauma bond

You may know that the relationship isn't right — or that it is over — but you simply cannot get them out of your head.

You miss them.

You may find yourself remembering the good times and wondering whether you should go back.

And the people around you may not understand.

They may wonder why you aren't simply relieved that it is

over.

But it isn't that simple.

Breaking a trauma bond can be painful and confusing. Your head may know one thing while emotionally you can feel something completely different.

When children are involved

If you have children together, the relationship may never completely disappear.

If your former partner has, or wants, contact with the children, you may still be dealing with difficult communication, handovers, manipulation or attempts to maintain control.

You may find yourself dealing with solicitors, disputes about contact or even Family Court proceedings.

So even though the romantic relationship has ended, the emotional impact can continue.

You are anxious, hypervigilant and exhausted.

You long for a good night's sleep.

For clarity.

For calm.

You want to trust yourself again.

You want to feel more assertive, manage boundaries without overwhelming guilt, and rebuild your confidence, identity and sense of who you are after the relationship.

This is where my work can help.

Adults in Nottingham and across the UK are struggling to understand and recover from narcissistic relationships. I help them make sense of what happened — or what is still happening — break free from the trauma bond and rebuild their confidence, so they can trust their own feelings and judgement again, reclaim their sense of self and create healthier relationships.

My approach

My work is not about telling you whether your partner is or

isn't a narcissist.

You don't need me to diagnose them.

My focus is you.

How has this relationship affected you?

What have you had to do to survive emotionally within it?

What beliefs have you developed about yourself?

Why is saying no so difficult?

Why does setting a boundary create so much guilt?

Why do you keep doubting yourself?

And perhaps most importantly:

Who would you be if you no longer had to organise your life around someone else's emotions?

Using an integrative approach, we can work with the emotional patterns that may be keeping you stuck and begin to develop greater self-trust, confidence, emotional freedom and healthier boundaries.

The basis of my work is talking therapy (psychotherapy), but depending on your needs, we may incorporate approaches such as inner child work, eye movement therapy, hypnotherapy and guided visualisation, alongside other appropriate therapeutic approaches.

The aim isn't simply to help you understand narcissistic behaviour.

It's to help you understand what happened to you, understand yourself more deeply, and begin to rebuild the relationship you have with yourself. So you can then have healthier relationships with others.